32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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