Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize