Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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