Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
