watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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