I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
