Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
