i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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