Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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