Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
