She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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