Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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