i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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