Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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