I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
