I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
