Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
