xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
