Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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