perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I sprained my soul last night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
