During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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