Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
where am i from again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
