I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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