i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
