turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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