the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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