Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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