covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
why do cheetos always look like penises
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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