Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
