i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My penis needs a shock collar
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
