he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
