Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
