Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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