Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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