We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
