just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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