I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
