hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
