Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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