I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
