I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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