I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
