well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
