Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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