Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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