that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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