Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize