Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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