Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Acid is not a monday night drug
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
