Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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