My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
