I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
