Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
