you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize