in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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