Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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